本文要求一定英语水平，绝对搞笑！纯粹中国式“土产英语”
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　　昨天来了个老外，进到办公室，前台小姐左看右看，大家都在打游戏，只有自己比较清闲，面带微笑的：

　　前台小姐：“Hello.”

　　老外：“Hi.”

　　前台小姐：“You have what thing？”

　　老外：“Can you speak english？”

　　前台小姐：“If I not speak english, I am speaking what？”

　　老外：“Can anybody else speak english？”

　　前台小姐：“You yourself look. All people are playing, no people have time, you can wait, you wait, you not wait, you go！”

　　老外：“Good heavens. Anybody here can speak English？”

　　前台小姐：“Shout what shout, quiet a little, you on earth have what thing？”

　　老外：“I want to speak to your head.”

　　前台小姐：“Head not zai. You tomorrow come！”

我晕了，呵呵